Inbox Inspiration: September 13, 2020: 24th Sunday of Ordinary Time

24^th Sunday in Ordinary Time

 Cycle A

September 13, 2020

Our Lady of Grace Parish, Parkton 11:00am 

 

Forgive

 

This morning, the message is about forgiveness.

 

I suppose that’s pretty obvious after listening to the gospel. Jesus says that we are to forgive “seventy-seven times.”  

 

In the Hebrew culture, the number seven was symbolic of perfection or fullness. So, when Jesus says to forgive seventy-seven times, he’s saying that our forgiveness is to be infinite and is to reflect God’s unconditional love of us. 

 

This morning, I want to look at three things that forgiving is not. And then I want to look at three steps that are involved in the process – and yes, forgiving is a process – three steps that are involved in the process of forgiving.

 

Forgiving Is Not… 

 

First, forgiving does not mean that we deny our feelings or pretend that we weren’t offended.

 

In fact, part of healthy forgiving demands that we own or admit our feelings. We do this so that we can eventually work through the hurt.

 

Second, forgiving does not mean forgetting or trying to pretend that something never happened.

 

It’s almost impossible to forget what has happened, even if we want to. We cannot expect ourselves or others to do this.

 

And third, forgiving is not losing as if we are in a win/lose game. 

Instead, forgiving can be a win/win action. The one forgiving and the one forgiven can both come out ahead.

 

So, forgiving does not mean 1) denying our feelings, 2) forgetting, or 3) losing.

 

Forgiving Is

 

Now let’s look at three steps or actions that are involved in forgiving. 

 

1.    Review 

 

First, we need to review what happened.

 

Review in your mind what the other person did. Try to remember it in detail.

 

And as you do this, get in touch with your feelings. How did you feel as it happened and right after it happened, and how do you feel about it or about him or her right now?

 

And, as part of this review, we also need to look at ourselves. As the old saying goes, “It often takes two to tango.”

 

Is there some way, maybe something minor or subtle, but some way that I contributed to the problem? Could it have been how I said something or when or where I did something? 

 

2.    Humanize

 

So, 1) review what happened, and then, 2) humanize the offender.

 

Try to separate the hurtful word or action from the person who did it. And then, try to walk in that person’s shoes for a bit.

 

What might she have been experiencing within herself? What kind of day or week might she have had?

 

Or, what kind of home life did he have when he was a child? What woundedness might he be carrying around inside?

 

This can be a very challenging part of the process that we may not want to do, but still, try to humanize the offender. Try to step back from the hurt for a moment and allow some empathy to enter the process.

 

3.    Choose

 

And then the third step or action is to choose to forgive.

 

We may feel resentful, angry or vengeful. But even with that, we can still choose to let go of it – and yes, forgiving is a choice.  

 

Not to let go hurts us as much or even more than the other person. The Buddhists have a saying about this.  

 

They say that holding on to resentment is like picking up a hot coal in our hand with the intention of throwing it at the person who offended us. I think that this image makes it clear that choosing to let go is as important for us as it is for the other person.  

 

And then, eventually, when you are ready and when it is possible, try to talk with the other person. This is not always possible, but when it is, it gives life to the forgiveness and makes it very real.

 

Conclusion

 

So, at some point in our lives, each of us will have to deal with a situation where we were hurt. 

 

It can happen with anyone – a parent, a spouse, a son or daughter, a sibling, a friend, a neighbor, an employer, a priest, and on it goes.  I hope that these three steps or actions – 1) Review, 2) Humanize, and 3) Choose – I hope that they will help us respond to Jesus’ call to be forgiving.

Inbox Inspiration: September 6, 2020: 23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time

 

 Correcting Others

Six or seven years ago, I read an article that I still remember.
A man named Jerome Weidman writes that he was in the third grade, in a public school in New York City. His math teacher was Mrs. O’Neill.
One day Mrs. O’Neill was grading test papers, and she noticed that twelve boys had given the same answer to a question, the same unusual and wrong answer. She correctly assumed that the boys had cheated.
The next day, Mrs. O’Neill asked the twelve boys to stay after school for a minute. Without accusing them of anything, she simply wrote on the blackboard a quotation from an English author. 
“The measure of real character is what individuals would do if they knew they would never be found out.” Isn’t that a great statement?
“The measure of real character is what individuals would do if they knew they would never be found out.” Jerome Weidman says that this was an important lesson in his life.

Jesus and Correcting 

 That teacher, Mrs. O’Neill, respectfully confronted those boys with their wrongdoing and what she did illustrates the message of today’s gospel.  
The passage tells us what to do if we see someone doing something that is morally wrong or something that is personally hurtful. In the gospel, Jesus gives a three-step process.

Step 1: One-on-One

First, Jesus says that we are to talk about the problem one-on-one.
Notice that he says that we are to talk with the person. Now, to be real about it, we may first talk about the person to somebody else, but our motive needs to be to prepare to talk directly with the person and to be able to speak in a constructive way.
So, maybe you need to talk with your spouse about the sharing of household responsibilities. Or maybe you need to talk with a family member who looks like he is into some kind of substance abuse.
When we do this, we need to be respectful and not put down or beat up others. Our motive needs to be a positive change of behavior or some reconciliation in the relationship.  

Step 2: Third-Party Assistance 

Okay, Jesus then says that if the other person is closed to looking at the issue, we should ask for the assistance of someone else.
This could mean both parents together talking with a son or daughter about their hanging out with the wrong crowd. Or it could mean a husband and wife going to a marriage counselor.
There are times in life when some kind of third-party assistance is required. There is a humorous Arab proverb about this that makes a good point.
It says: “If one person calls you a donkey or a you-know-what, you may pay no attention to that person. But if five people call you one, go out and buy yourself…a saddle” – I think that says it pretty well. 

Step 3: Keep Reaching Out

Finally, for the third step, Jesus says that if someone will not listen even to several people, then treat that person like a tax collector or non-believer.
In the past, we as a Church interpreted this as meaning: have nothing to do with them or excommunicate them. Today, many Scripture scholars give us a different insight.
They point out that Jesus continues to associate with tax collectors and non-believers. He never gives up on them.
So here, instead of talking about excommunication, Jesus is really talking about communication – and continued communication. He is talking about excluding sin, but not excluding the sinner – the person.
So, maybe someone persists in sinful or harmful behavior or maybe they believe differently on some point of faith. Yes, we have to be true to ourselves about what we believe is right. 
And, in some instances, we may have to protect ourselves – as in situations of domestic violence or sexual abuse. But usually, Jesus is calling us to keep relating and keep communicating. 
I see this as the spirit and direction that Pope Francis is trying to instill in our Church and in us. 
 
Father Michael Schleupner
 
In addition to the usual Wednesday edition of Inbox Inspirations, I am continuing at least for now these Special Inbox Inspirations on Sundays. I began these when the coronavirus pandemic began.
 

Inbox Inspiration: September 2, 2020: Saints and the Sick

 Saints and the Sick – 1   

Dear Friends,
For the five Wednesdays of September, these Inbox Inspirations will be devoted to saints or holy people who have taken special care of the sick.
The pandemic is my motivation for doing this. 
I am starting with Saint Camillus de Lellis.
Born in 1550 in Italy, Camillus became a soldier at age fourteen. 
As a young man, he also developed a significant gambling addiction. 
Camillus became afflicted with abscesses on both of his feet and eventually went to a hospital in Rome for treatment.
Mostly because of his disagreeable personality, he was soon asked to leave there.
He reentered the army, continued his gambling, and before long went back to the hospital in Rome for treatment on his feet. 
This met with some success, and Camillus then went through a significant change of heart – maybe we would call it a conversion experience. 
He became a nurse at that hospital, gained the respect of many, and was eventually made the administrator of this facility.
Soon, under the guidance of Saint Philip Neri, Camillus began studies for the priesthood and was ordained.
Almost immediately, he established an order of priests called the Fathers of a Good Death (1584), soon officially approved by the Pope as a religious order. 
The order’s charism or purpose was to care for those stricken by the plague (an outbreak of the Bubonic Plague), whether in hospitals or in their own homes.
Camillus continued to be afflicted with the sores on his feet and other physical ailments.
He suffered most of his life with all of this but always persevered in caring for the sick.
Camillus established fifteen houses of his religious order and eight hospitals throughout Italy before his death in 1614.
He was canonized a saint in 1746 and, in 1930, Pope Pius XI made Saint Camillus de Lellis, together with Saint John of God, co-patron of nurses and nursing associations.   
 
Saint Camillus de Lellis, pray for us.
 
Father Michael Schleupner

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Saints and the Sick – 2   

Dear Friends,
History is sketchy on the details about Saint Roch.
He apparently lived a brief life – born around 1295 and dying around 1327, only thirty-two years-old. 
It seems that Roch was born to a noble family in Montpelier, France.
His parents died young and at about the age of twenty, Roch gave up his wealth and became a mendicant pilgrim.
On his way to Rome, he travelled through some Italian towns afflicted with the Black Death.
Roch gave himself to nursing the sick.
Many cures from the plague are attributed to him through his prayers and making the Sign of the Cross on those who were ill.
Eventually, Roch was himself stricken by the plague.
Instead of going to a hospital, he went to a hut in the woods, and legend says that a dog brought him food.
This is why Saint Roch is often depicted with a dog. 
At any rate, he recovered and then resumed his ministry with the sick. 
Some paintings from that time depict him as among those afflicted with the plague, caring for them and praying for and over them.
Ultimately, Saint Roch returned to Montpelier, and it was there that he died.   
His care for victims of the plague certainly relates to us today.
A quote attributed to a history of Saint Roch says this:
“His thoughts went beyond the grave to that life after death, when there shall be no grief, nor sorrow, nor hunger, nor thirst, nor pain and when death shall be no more.”
St. Roch “saw in the plague-stricken an image of the Savior stricken for the sins of all.”
 
Saint Roch, pray for us.
 
Father Michael Schleupner

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Saints and the Sick – 3   
 

Dear Friends,
Catherine McAuley was the founder of the Sisters of Mercy.
Born in Dublin in 1778, both of her parents had died by the time she was twenty-years-old.
Catherine then got a position as the household manager of a wealthy Protestant couple. 
By 1822, they had both passed away, and Catherine was the sole legatee of their significant estate.
Catherine had for a long time felt a strong desire to serve the poor.
So, with her inheritance, in 1827 she established the first House of Mercy in Dublin to care for homeless women and children, especially orphans.
The Archbishop of Dublin was impressed with the work of Catherine and her companions and encouraged them to wear a distinctive garb and to care for the sick.
With his enthusiasm and persuasion, Catherine formed a religious institute with herself and several others professing their vows on December 12, 1831.
She named this new religious institute the Sisters of Mercy because she wanted the works of mercy to be its distinctive feature.
In 1832, the Sisters began staffing a hospital to care for those stricken by the cholera epidemic.
Catherine died in 1841, and by that time there were 100 Sisters of Mercy in fourteen locations in Ireland and England.
The Sisters of Mercy arrived in the United States in 1843 and opened their first hospital in 1847.
Since then, the Sisters have become part of six different health systems, which include hospitals, long-term care facilities, rehab centers, family care, and outreach.
The Sisters have served as nurses, doctors, CEOs, CFOs, and trustees of these health care institutions.
The cause for canonization of Catherine McAuley began in 1978, and Pope John Paul II declared her as Venerable.
Catherine once said: “A community in which universal charity reigns is…capable of surmounting all difficulties.”
    
Venerable Catherine McAuley, pray for us.
 
Father Michael Schleupner

*****

Saints and the Sick – 4
 

Dear Friends,
Jozef De Veuster was born in Belgium in 1840, the youngest of seven children.
His parents were Catholics and raised their children in the faith.
At a young age, Jozef decided that he wanted to be a priest.
He was accepted as a member of the Congregation of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary, a missionary religious institute.
Jozef took Damien as his religious name and made his first vows in 1860.
His brother, also a priest of the same religious institute, was scheduled to go to Hawaii on mission, but ill health prevented him from doing so.
Damien volunteered to take his place, and he arrived in Honolulu in 1864.
Later that same year, he was ordained to the priesthood and was then sent on mission to the island of Hawaii.
At this time, the population of the Hawaiian Islands was suffering from a number of infectious diseases, including cholera, smallpox, and influenza.
These were brought to the islands by traders and sailors, and the islanders had no immunity to them.
The mortality rate was high.
Leprosy had also been introduced to the islands probably around 1840.
This disease was seen as highly contagious and incurable, and so the king of Hawaii decreed that all persons with leprosy would be quarantined on the island of Molokai.
In 1873, Father Damien was the first volunteer priest to go on mission to Molokai.
At that time, there were six hundred persons with leprosy there.
Father Damien brought faith and dignity to these people.
He would personally care for them, dressing their ulcerous wounds and helping to build clean houses, hospitals, schools, and roads.
He provided great medical, spiritual, emotional, and social support for the people.
In 1884, Father Damien himself contracted leprosy.
Nevertheless, he continued to work with and for his people until his death in 1889.
He was canonized a saint by Pope Benedict XVI in 2009.
    
Saint Damien of Molokai, pray for us.
 
Father Michael Schleupner

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Saints and the Sick – 5

Dear Friends,
Josephine Potel was born in 1799 in a small rural village in France. 
In 1821, twenty-two-years-old, she came to Paris and saw the human and social devastation caused by the French Revolution.
There was great poverty and, when people were ill or injured, they avoided the hospitals because of their terrible condition.
Diseases spread quickly through the overcrowded, dirty city streets.
Josephine Potel had a strong faith and a deep desire to serve those in need, and she began to do just that.
In 1824, she and eleven other women banned together and formed the group that they named the Sisters of Bon Secours. 
The French words Bon Secours mean Good Help, and this new religious community had as its brand or motto Good Help to Those in Need.
They did two things which set them apart from existing religious communities.
First, they did not confine themselves to a convent, but instead entered the homes of the sick and dying to care for them.
And second, they offered their care to anyone in need, believer or non-believer.
The Archbishop of Paris was skeptical when Sister Josephine applied for acceptance of their new congregation by the Church. 
Nevertheless, this religious institute was soon recognized, and Sister Josephine was chosen to be its first leader. 
Unfortunately, she died in 1826, just two short years after the congregation was founded. 
However, her spirit and her successors saw to the spread of the Sisters of Bon Secours throughout France and to England and Ireland and other countries. 
The Sisters arrived in the United States in 1881 at the request of Cardinal Gibbons in Baltimore to set up a health care ministry.
They did this and eventually opened Bon Secours Hospital in 1919.
They have managed or operated Catholic hospitals, long-term care facilities, and other health services in various parts of the United States. 
All of this originated from the faith, vision, and love of the sick that motivated Sister Josephine Potel.
 
Sister Josephine Potel, pray for us.
Father Michael Schleupner

 

Inbox Inspiration: August 30, 2020: 22nd Sunday of Ordinary Time

 22nd Sunday of Ordinary Time

Lose to Gain

Today Jesus says: “You have to lose your life to find it.” Sports coaches and athletes say: “No pain; no gain.”
Psychologists say: “Lose your false self to find your true self.” Spiritual writers say: “The dark night precedes the dawn.”
What is it that we must lose and what do we gain? Well, the good news is that we don’t lose anything essential to our humanity.
We don’t lose anything that is good within us. All we really lose is our inhumanity, the not-so-good stuff.

What Do We Lose?

For example, Jesus wants us to lose our self-centeredness, which isolates us from other people. We are to lose our prejudices, which blind us to the truth.
Jesus wants us to lose our consumerism, which distracts us from life’s deeper realities. We are to lose our insecurity, which restrains us from doing what is right.  
Jesus wants us to lose our obsession with money, which prevents us from being generous. And we are to lose our fear, which keeps us from loving. 

What Do We Gain?

To the degree that we do this losing, we gain. Through the power of Christ and our relationship with him, our humanity and our life are actually fuller.
Now, we don’t have to get there all at once. We can do it step by step.
And we don’t have to advance or become perfect in every dimension of life. Actually, most saints are imperfect and unfinished in some way.
And the amazing truth is that in allowing our humanity to become fuller, we simultaneously become divine. We experience God as more and more living within us and experience ourselves as more and more living in God.  
So, in losing our lives in God, we don’t really lose at all. Instead, we emerge into a fullness that we would never have dreamed of. 
But we have to remember: only with God and only in going through this process of losing can we gain and be our fullest self.
 
Father Michael Schleupner 

In addition to the usual Wednesday edition of Inbox Inspirations, I am continuing at least for now these Special Inbox Inspirations on Sundays. I began these when the coronavirus pandemic began.