Sunday Inbox Inspirations
Third Sunday of Lent
Cycle B
March 7, 2021
Anger
A question: can you recall a time when you were angry?
I can pinpoint a rather recent time when I felt angry. I think we all feel angry at times.
Today I want to share a few thoughts on this, and, by all means, I am not pretending to say all that could be said about anger. And by the way, I am led to this by today’s gospel where Jesus is angry at the hypocrisy of some people in the temple.
What to Do with Our Anger?
The first thing I want to say is that anger is a legitimate and universal human emotion.
I was taught in my younger years that anger was bad and that I should confess it in confession. I have come to understand that anger in itself is not a bad thing.
Like other human emotions, it is in us and must come from God. The issue is not whether we feel angry.
The issue is what we do with our anger. The particular trick with anger is that the actions or words that can flow from it need, to some extent, to be controlled.
One of the authors whom I have read says that there are three things involved for our dealing with anger in God’s way – as God wants us to deal with it. This author proposes three words that begin with the letter R: 1) Restrain, 2) Re-evaluate, and 3) Release.
1. Restrain
First, we are to restrain our anger.
This doesn’t mean that we try to deny or suppress it. It doesn’t mean that we try to pretend that we aren’t angry.
The Book of Proverbs in the Old Testament says this. “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” (Proverbs 29:11)
So, we don’t just let it all hang out, as the saying goes. We refrain from instantly reacting to the person or event that triggers us.
Instead, we take time to get in touch with our anger and what’s going on. This is what it means to restrain our anger and to deal with it in God’s way.
2. Re-evaluate
Then, second, we are to re-evaluate our anger.
This action really flows from the restraining. The Letter of Saint James in the New Testament says this: “You must all be slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” (James 1:19-20)
The idea is that we first need to go inside ourselves before lashing out at the other person. We need to get in touch with what we are really angry about.
For example, am I angry because someone cut me off in traffic, or am I really angry because I have been feeling generally disrespected? Again, are you angry because your husband or wife was late for dinner, or are you really angry because you feel unimportant and have felt that way a lot in your life?
So, let’s go inside and get in touch with ourselves and our anger before we do anything else. This is what it means to re-evaluate our anger and to deal with it in God’s way.
3. Release
And then, third, we are to release our anger.
So, on the one hand, we don’t bottle it up because it will fester and eventually just boil over. And, on the other hand, we don’t just instantly let it out.
Instead, we get in touch with what’s really going on and then express ourselves and our anger in a constructive way. Saint Paul even says: “Now is the time to get rid of anger.” (Colossians 3:8)
So, we are reasonably clear about what we need to say. We pick a time for expressing ourselves that looks workable for us and the other person, and we are mindful of the tone of our voice as we speak.
We may even enter into this with an openness to listen and to learn something we are not be aware of. This is what it means to release our anger and to deal with it in God’s way.
Conclusion
So, a human emotion that is okay to have, but often challenging to deal with.
I think these three R words can help us to deal with anger in a God-like or Christ-like way: 1) Restrain, 2) Re-evaluate, and 3) Release.
Father Michael Schleupner
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